This is life, no matter how bad it is, how happy you are with it. That’s life.. Humans are unpredictable. It’s sad how i lead my life, i did loads of shit. I am jobless, i’m feeling extremely low and emotional. I know i’ve realized all of the mistakes i did. I’m coming clean now. I am sorry to the people i’ve done shit at. The lies. The heartbreak. Everything.
But still i am strong enough and thankful that i am able to wake up and face the things in life. whatever that is going on right now. i know i am very vulnerable now. been crying, been thinking. a lot of things are running in my mind.
But one thing for sure, if i believe and have faith in HIM i know things are gonna be better. whatever it is, i have to be positive. it makes a lot of difference. it does.
i am thankful to my mum, my dad and my whole family, my best friends and my buddies for always being there for me. i made my mistakes.. i feel so apologetic now.
i know i’m rude, selfish, unreasonable at times, guess what? i’ve been knocked some sense and trying to make things better. alhamdulillah i’ve started praying, seeking help from him. and with all the effort i’ve done, insya’allah things will get better. once things are better, i hope not to repeat the same mistakes. no more of those shits.
like i said on fb, “I stick to this advise, if you want a good, loyal, lovable partner in life, you should change to be one. Cos whoever you meet is your mirror to learn your own flaws.”
i believe in that.
for now, i still carry on with life, looking for jobs, helping mum with the house chores, trying to get clean with everyone. i’m still learning on who deserves the best that i can give. i’m too scared to get involved in someone’s life. way too scared man.
but insya’allah, i know Allah will show me who is the best for me. for now chill.
like what my buddy said to me, focus on my career, get my license, repay my family for everything and once love comes then get involve with it.
NAZZ YOU’RE A STRONG GIRL AND YOU KNOW THAT! JIAYOU!
and thank you to my used to be bestfriend. we’ll be good friends. i know we will. 🙂 you know who you are.